For your enjoyment, or for you to laugh at how bad my wiriting is when I write between midnight and 4 am!!

 

( My latest work of fiction! )

In English we have been studying the medieval adaptations of the Greek Orpheus legend one of which is Sir Orfeo. Reading back upon my typing I realised that spell checker had been automatically changing Orfeo to Oreo. This made me laugh quite a bit - a legendary biscuit, who would have thought?!! So then I had to write it. My adaptation sticks closer to the original than Sir Orfeo (who goes into some silly romance with a happy ending!!) althogh like most adaptations I have added my own twist which is a social comment on how Maryland cookies are a big disappointment really :p

So here is the The Legend of Sir Oreo for your enjoyment:

 
 

( Sir Oreo )

 

Simply I would ask : Why?

That's all.

And damn wasn't the finale to Being Human good? Shame that Dollhouse isn't so amazing.
 

</div>
1.Unfortunately Bex has now gone to the big Kennel in the sky
2.Unfortunately According to Bex turned out to be a case of the whole not matching the sum of its parts.
3.BEX Report Warning
4.Unfortunately this lifestyle can't go on forever and I have to start looking
5.She trully is Bex in 20 years and I have had enough of Bex but unfortunately Bex isn't up this week.
6. Invalid email address on file for: Jp Bex. Unfortunately, there is no way to contact the artist via email through our system at this time
7.The Ferienlager de Bex in Les Plans-sur-Bex, Switzerland can be contacted by phone +41 (0)24 4981455
8. Bex script was originally called bee script. Unfortunately, there seems to be another scripting language for java called BEE script.
9. And, finally, I called my go-to girl, Bex, to see if she could take me. Unfortunately, Bex had ended up with a scratched cornea and an eye patch.
10. Unfortunately, he's taken to muttering in the bathroom with Bex, and voting girls find bitching and backstabbing utterly abominable.</div>

Now you can all look forward to an exciting rally type post tomorrow when I'm hopefully feeling less ill.  Doctors first thing in the morning and hopefully he can cure me on the spot :p</div></div>

After weeks of wondering what exactly Twitter is and not actually being bothered to find out what it is I finally decided last night to investigate. Motivated by the large amount of cocktails (each with more alcohol than the recipe suggested in!) I also thought it would be a good idea to sign up. Thankfully it was quite an easy process - a few clicks here and there and I'd even managed to change the appearence of my profile. I'm still not entirely sure of the point of this whole Twitter but I guess all will become clear soon. If you're that interested you can follow me - my username is rocksolidhair.

Anywho back to the drunkeness which involved eating chinese and watching Death Note movies (still not as good as the Anime but L is hot :p) which for some reason we found really quite funny - especially the subtitles. They insisted on using the word surveilling, Misa claimed that she was going to play the 'man lead' in a film and silly newsreader from Sakura TV told her producer that she was 'getting off'. Oh dear......

Nicked from Nat:

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want -- good or bad -- BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.

Today I learnt that, as women, if we are set upon by a man trying to rape us we should not run away as this will only lead to us falling into sin. 

( An explanation ) 

In other news the snow has mostly gone :( but we did see two mounds of snow where our snowmen had been!!  

Dear Maddy,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our affair is over. I think I realized it when you punched me in the face, in your car  and I saw you knock out my boyfriend. 
I'm sure you're man enough to understand how awful you are.
I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep your photo with a mustache drawn on it as a memory.
You should also know that I am better of without you and  I will haunt you when I’m incarnated as an Eskimo.

Go Milk a Cow,
Bex

How it works:

NOW YOU, Pick a friend, any friend, and choose the correct answer, and fill in the blanks in the message at the bottom. Tag them, See what they say. It's Funny!

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue – our romance is over
Red – our affair is over
White – I’m joining the Convent
Black – I dislike your eyelashes
Green – our socks don't match
Grey – you're a pervert
Yellow – I'm selling myself for candy
Pink – your nostrils are insulting
Brown – the mafia wants you
No shirt – you're mean
Other – I'm in love with your cat

2. Which is your birth month?
January – that night you picked your nose
February – last year when you peed your pants
March – when your dwarf bit me
April – when I tripped on peanut butter
May – when I threw up in your sock drawer
June – when you punched me in the face
July – when you smacked my butt
August – when I saw the purple monkey
September – when you farted in the bathtub
October – when I quoted Forest Gump
November – when your dog humped my leg
December – when I finally changed my underwear

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos – in your apartment
Lasagna – in your car
Pasta – outside of your office
Hamburgers – under the bus
Salad – as you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken – in your closet
Kebab – with Jean Chrétien
Fish – in a clown suit
Sandwiches – at the Elton John concert
Pizza – at the mental hospital
Hot dog – under a street light
Other – with George Bush and Stephen Harper

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow – hit on
Red – insult
Black – ignore
Blue – knock out
Purple – pour syrup on
White – carve your initials into
Grey – pull the clothes off
Brown – put whipped cream on
Orange – castrate
Pink – pull the pants off of
Barefoot – sit on
Other – drive over

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black – my boyfriend
White – my father
Grey – the Catholic Priest
Brown – your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Purple – my corned beef hash
Red – my knee caps
Blue – my salt-beef bucket
Yellow – my illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange – my Blink 182 cd
Pink – the Montreal Canadian’s goalie
None – my prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other - the elephant in the corner

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs – man
O.C. – emotional
One Tree Hill – open
Heroes – frostbitten
Lost – high
House – sly
Simpsons – cowardly
The news – scarred
Idol – masochistic
Family Guy – senile
Top Model – middle-class
Other – ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy – how awful you are
Sad – how boring you are
Nervous – that Santa doesn't exist
Angry – that your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – that we’re related
Excited – that I may pee my pants
Bored– the middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried – that your car sucks
Apathetic – that you need a sex-change
Ashamed – that I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly – that I eat garbage
Silly – that there is no solution to you being dumb
Other – that your driving sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White/Beige – your toe ring
Yellow – your love letters to me
Red – your Elton John poster
Black – your pet rock
Blue – the couch cushions
Green – the pictures from Vegas
Orange – your false teeth
Brown – your nose hair clippers
Grey – our matching snoopy underwear
Purple – your New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink – the cut toenails
Other – your booger collection

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B – your photo with the mustache drawn on it
C/D – the oil tank from your car
E/F – your neighbor's dog
G/H – my chastity belt
I/J – the results of that blood-sample
K/L – your left ear
M/N – your book of poetry
O/P – my common sense
Q/R – your mom
S/T – your collection of butterflies
U/V – your criminal record
W/X – your glass eye
Y/Z – your lock of hair

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B – told my psychiatrist about the bruises
C/D – never will forget that night
E/F – always wanted to break your legs
G/H – hate your cooking
I/J – mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L – will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
M/N – gave my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P – was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/R – always will remember the pep talks
S/T – get sick when I think of your feet
U/V – will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X – haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Coffee – I will haunt you when I’m incarnated as an Eskimo
Milk – the apartment building is on fire
Water – thanks for the cocaine
Cider – I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – you ruined my attempts at another world war and world domination
Mineral water – you should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot Chocolate – your cucumber fetish is weird
Beer – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Wine – our friendship is ruined
Hard Liquor – I love Oprah Winfrey
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia – Best of luck on the sex change
France – Love always
Spain – Go drown yourself
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan – Go milk a cow
Greece – Your everlasting enemy
USA – Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England – With tears of sadness

NOW ITS YOUR TURN!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear (_YOUR FRIEND'S NAME_),

I don't really know how to tell you this, but (_1_). I think I realized it (_2_), (_3_) and I saw you (_4_) (_5_).
I'm sure you're (_6_) enough to understand (_7_).
I'm returning (_8_) to you, but I'll keep (_9_) as a memory.
You should also know that I (_10_) and (_11_).

(_12_),
(_YOUR NAME_)

 and for using saws, drills and very hot iron rods!!!!

Yup Pack Holiday again and another four days spent with twenty girls aged between 7 and 10!!! So we decided to let them do woodland crafts which involved sawing, drilling and hammering to create cute little woodland animals!!! Then they branded name plaques with hot iron rods. Then we put them down manholes and sent them along underground tunnels in the dark, pushed them off a high scaffold on nothing more than a wooden swing and down into a muddy pit so that they had to climb up a muddy bank using just a rope. But still they were alive so we sprung extra surprise inspections and gace them tricky crafts to do using superglue but still no harm was done. Then we sent them into the woods to find the complete alaphabet (yes me and Laura did hide 104 letters around the woods!!) and they all got eaten alive by midges (or later as told by a Brownie to her mother "we went to the woods and were bitten by midgets")!!! 

But don't worry - no Brownies were hurt in the making of this Pack Holiday (apart from midge bites and a wasp sting!!). However one brownie came very very close to death by strangulation from just about every leader there!!! She may look a sweet and innocent seven year old with her angelic blonde hair and cute name but underneath she is the spawn of the devil - causing mayhem wherever she went - from stealing someone's hairbrush, pushing people's clean washing up on the floor, throwing sweets around and causing a scene at 10.30 on the last night by yelling she didn't want to go to bed because she didn't like where she was sleeping and that mummy had told her to sleep next to so and so. Well how come she managed every other night? She was told under no circumstances could she move as she was already keeping people up and moving meant moving several other Brownies - two of which were asleep!!! In the end I told her to shut up and go to sleep! Consequently she is the only Brownie I've ever known in my 12 years experience of pack Holiday ever to get minus points on the Good Brownie Points Chart!

 Yesterday I completed the 5k route of the Race for Life in Swansea!!! Woooo!! Go me!!! And we were wearing pjs!! And to top it off I got a shiny medal, free bottle of water, bag of freebies and a breakfast for this morning all thrown in!!

We however did spend the day eating crap though - muffins (made by me :p), Joe's ice cream, rhyddings for tea (yummm) and pancakes (a nearly midnight snack - before midnight as the I had to go home at midnight as I am Cinderella and shall turn into a Pumpkin if I miss the last bus!!) and we went to Miah's indian restuarant the night before (my defence i that I have no plate, cutlery, kitchen stuff, in fact anything here so I have to eat out!!!).

But anyway thnaks to all those who sponsored me!!! :p

 

Yes the Brownies tried to rob a bank this evening :s. We took the Brownies on a walk along the sea front to the mumbles and Joe's Ice Cream Parour. Heather and Ali's (fellow sswigers) pack were all as good as gold whilst my pack whizzed off ahead on their heelies (pure evil things) causing me to have to run and catch them before they all drowned. Then whilst they were waiting for the promised ice creams to be purchased they decided to rob the bank!!! They began banging on the windows and laying with the cash machine. Grrr. After numerous attempts to take them away from the bank we resorted to ice cream privilage removal threats which worked.

In other news it's my birthday in like two days time :) Also finished my exams today (what an exausting 3 1/2 weeks!!!!) And more importantly DR Who.

The latest epsiode of this fine tv show has been eagerly awaited for a while as it is filmed partly in Swansea Library and partly in Brangwyn Hall (where the majority of my exams take place) So when I was eventually able to sit down and watch it on i player last night I was very excited to see the Tardis parked in the hall (yup the reception is actually Brangwyn Hall) and not just was it parked there it was parked right slap bang where I'd been sat yesterday morning so you can imagine where I was sat this morning :p Also was majorly distracted in the exam by the thought of 'David Tennant was stood here!!!'

 So I should be revising but I seem to have developed an unhealthy obsession with Grey's Anatomy (especially Alex :p). Somehow watching someone's corrotted (again sp?? (what is wrong with me tonight??) artery explode seems more excting than revising changes in medical knowledge in Early Modern Britian, Corruption and disease in Oedipus and the whining asshole that is Robinson Crusoe.  

However me and Maddy did spend half the day in the library revisng and inend to (unless the weather brightens up so we can take our new picnic blanket to the park or beach to revise!!!) tomorrow as well. And actually made some progress in  Tragic Drama, especially Oedipus alhough we did realise that the notes for one of our lectures on Oedipus (we had three) are no use as our lecturer has managed to lecture for an hour on Aristotle when Oedipus was written by Sophocles!!!  To get over the shock we had to have lage coffee's from the Costa that is conveniantly situated in the middle of the library!!

After all our hard work we rewaeded ourselves with a  Chinese takeaway!!! Andflopped out in front of the TV (enjoying such shows as the Simpsons, something about families with 13 kids who want more (with some asshole guy who had had an arranged marriage and had procceded to make is wife pop out numerous kids whilst he's a patriarchal asshole who controls her completly and won;t even let her speak for herself. They just had kid 13 and he wants her to have another one despite the fact she's clearly way too ill after the first 13!!) and the news)
Then Grey's Anatomy came on and we suddenly realised our knowledge of said show, it's storylines, characters, actors, gossip etc far outstripped all knowledge of the subjects we are taking exams in!! Either I must resist the temptation or take an Exam in Grey's Anatomy!!!! (Well it could be described as Tragic Drama... :P) 

In oher news sod all has happened... still sat around waiting for my next exam whilst slowly going mad. However I am getting very excited about my birthday and party :P.. and rally :)

 Yay!!! Got my first exam over and done with this afternoon so am off to the pub later (which was organised over msn thus involving 8 conversations and me asking Michelle in Leicester if she wanted to come by mistake :P - Well Mike and Michelle are very similar names you see!!!) Was quiet a good exam - on English Language but for some reason when I was busy scribbling it was not my lecturer's voice in my head it was Ms Windo and Miss Harris - how random!!! Then some guys phone went off and he got chucked out although ranting in Chinese at the same timethsu distrating everyone!!!!

And I have a day of Guiding tomorrow - Brownies bowling at 11 - 12 (no not using the brownies as bowling balls or pins!!) then the rainbow fairy themed 21st birthday party straight afterwards!!! Right must find a wand..... hmm may be a card scissors and glue job.... and what about wings?